Thursday, July 12, 2012

Best of the "Socially Awkward Penguin"

Below are some: (How many of these have you done?)



Ok class, Find a Partner...
OH GOD NO

Remember embarrassing event from years ago...
Cringe and obsess over what could have been done differently

Say something funny, only one person hears...
Person repeats it, everyone laughs

Send email...
Immediately go to sent items and read it again

Friend talks to someone you don't know...
Just stand there in silence

Don't hear what they said...
Smile and hope it wasn't a question

Finish test first...
Wait for someone else to turn in theirs first

Can hear self chewing...
Chew slower because everyone else might hear it too

See somebody familiar in distance...
Look at ground until foot away

Is about to order pizza...
Gets nervous and rehearses the order a few times before dialing

Had awkward conversation...
Repeat it over and over in your head later

Teacher is taking attendance...
Heart rate rapidly increases in anticipation of saying 'Present'

Have something interesting to contribute to the conversation...
Waited too long and now it's not relevant anymore

Guy sits next to me on bench right before I am about to leave...
Wait a minute so he doesn't think it's because of him

Finishes exam at same time as person next to him...
remains seated for a minute so professor doesn't think he cheated

Girl thinks your leg is the table leg and rests her feet on it...
Remain absolutely still for 5 minutes

Can you start reading the next paragraph to the class...
Heart rate: 300 BPM

Receives friend request while already on Facebook...
Waits 5 minutes before accepting

Participation marks?...
There goes my GPA

Calls someone...
Adrenaline rush

Doesn't receive immediate reply from a text...
Checks Sentbox to make sure you didn't offend them

Eye contact with black guy on the Subway...
Does he think I am racist?

Accidentally makes a sound that sounds like a fart...
Keeps making it to confirm that it wasn't a fart

Someone standing in front of the item I need...
Pretend to look for something else until they move

Leave the store without buying anything...
"Act natural, you are innocent"

Make a 20 minute presentation...
Speed talk through it in 5

Carefully type out a thoughtful comment...
Decide it's dumb. Don't submit

Play frisbee with friends...
Worry about throwing disc to each person equally

More excited...
When plans get cancelled











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